after-thoughts For a while now, I hav held back on writing this post... Now tat the restraint has been removed... it shall be time for me to express some after-thoughts on the Beijing Trip...

The following may cause distress. Viewer discretion is SERIOUSLY advised...

To my beloved Gf...

Enjoyed the time together during this trip no matter wat others might say... Yup... I'll always be there for you....

To my Gf's and my roomie during the trip...

Truly sorry to have neglected both of you during the trip... hope tat we will always remain good frens....

To frens who exercised restraint frm commenting on us...

Really appreciate the silent support given... tatz wat frens are for...

To frens who teased us...

Humour felt... no offence towards tat....

To ppl who hav nothing but unsavory remarks broadcasted abt us...

I will never have the time to consider the feelings of every single person... n i never intend to anyway... if u felt that we were a disturbing presence during the trip... continue doing tat.. everyone is entitled to their opinions and have the right to judge ppl... but realise tat juz as u hav the right, i do hav this right to do so... to judge u all based on watever remarks u might hav... here are my comments towards u all...

Anyway... this is targeted towards those who GOSSIPPED behind our backs.. i dun mind if these were directed straight in my face w/o any broadcast (those fall under frens who exercised restraint...)... I wunno who went ard discussing (i'm juz being polite here...)... u all know urself...

1. So our intimate behaviour hav caused distress towards u... sorry abt tat... (like real...)... Since u are so easily disturbed.. may i suggest tat u dun go Orchard Road, dun take bus or train, dun watch movies or tv... basically juz lock urself in the room n read ur most benign Harry Potter book.... I m not being sarcastic here... this is helpful advice to prevent u frm getting traumatised...

2. So u had the time to notice tat we are ALWAYS together... perhaps tatz the reason y u can never enjoy the trip... itz not my business if you take us as the tourist attraction... tatz UR fucking business.... U tink we r too sticky is ur problem... i call it Loving... STILL got a prob? go bang the wall then... it may help u understand...

3. So u tink i should spare a tot for every person in the trip... n by being always together.. we hav affected the ENTIRE orchestra.... let me ask u all this qn... by making those unsavory remarks behind us... hav u all spared a tot for our feelings?

So basically, i enjoyed the time with my wonderful Gf.... yup yup... Felt really sorry for our roomies though.. i'll surely reflect on tat... n as anyone can see... i also felt pissed...

However, i still felt the trip to be enjoyable... the sweetness by far overcome the slight bitter after-taste...  ¶ 8:46 PM 0 comments

  daYs in bEijIng For a week, I was in the capital of China, a.k.a. Beijing a.k.a. Peking a.k.a. Bei Ping... Actually i was quite scared before n during the trip... cuz.. i veri scared wait the Chinese authorities decide tat my handsome face shld be regarded as their national treasure n dun let me come back to s'pore hahaha....

For those planning to go China soon.. i will suggest to every single one of u.. to bring a face mask there.. i dun mean facial mask.. i mean the thing to cover ur mouth during SARS period... ya... tat face mask....

All toilet users should heed my advice.. their toilets are a weapon in themselves... any foreigner used to clean toilets will agree (i mean.. used to using clean toilets.. not cleaning toilets...)... mayb the chinese wanna punish the ang-mohs for their plundering in the past... tatz y they hav smelly toilets to punish foreigners... but i am innocent.. y punish ppl like me?

Actually... u will find tat their toilets at tourist attractions n restaurants quite ok... if u hav been to the toilets in their universities tat is... U see i was at 2 of their top universities.. n their public toilets realli realli... i dunno how their undergrads use one... make until... so dirty n smelly... go in muz hold breath.. run in.. do business... run out... argh.. n the thing is... in some girl toilets.. they dun even hav doors... so... girls can walk in.. look into one of the cubicle n see some person doing their business... yucks...

I realised tat i may nv be able to understand the mainland PRCs.... their fantastic logic... in one of their toilets... in a restaurant... the lock in the toilet miraculously can be used.... itz workable.. but the catch is tat... the lock has no use... u can still push the door open from outside... so watz the use of the lock? i honestly do not know... no wonder it can be "used"....

Cup noodles was the best food i ate there... after Peking duck n PIzza Hut... haha... which speaks a lot abt their food... u wanna ur enemy to die faster? invite him/her to go Beijing... treat him to Mc Donald fries if u wanna him to die of kidney failure and high blood pressure(super a lot of salt.. like eating salt lidat...)... wanna him to suffer vessel blockage? treat him to Peking's fantastic three layer meat... if i take off my glasses.. i will onli be able to see one layer... the transparent layer.. the soft layer.. the fatty area.. Yucks

Things were made worse when my guide n bus driver were great... the guide was an auntie... she loves to imitate chicken... sorry.. i mean rooster... love to act rooster... then when she talk.. onli the ppl standing rite in front of her can hear one... ppl like me who love to stand at the back can hear only myself talking.... n the bus driver is a bloody slacker... he's lazy to switch on the air-con when the first person board the bus, lazy to help carry luggage when he's supposed to be the one doing so... asshole....

One redeeming factor was their fake goods... they got quite a range there n the price u get is dependent on ur bargaining... tat makes it sooooooo exciting.... itz amazing how one classic tactic can always work... pretend to leave.. n u hear the price being cut by several times the original offer....

The hotel is not bad too... a worthy 4-star hotel.. i love their bed, their tv, their bathtub, their hot shower water... their morning call at 6am...

Tatz realli all i can say abt Beijing... the location of Olympics 2008  ¶ 8:48 PM 0 comments

  sIgns oF iMPerfection Weeks pass by very very quickly. My attachment has ended. Taxi fares are going up again. June passed. Now is July. England is out. Germany is out. Portugal is out. I had my first lesson as tutor. Everything just seems to pass me by.

As time starts to pass me by, I have discovered that my definition of myself as a perfect, impeccable individual has been severely blemished. Here's why:

1. Attachment

I have started revising my definition of myself as perfect ever since my attachment began. Spelling mistakes, addition mistakes, formatting mistakes are just some of the mistakes I have made. Well, all these are attributed to carelessness; therefore I branded myself 90% perfect.

2. World Cup

Well, although I am not playing for England, I still participated in the World Cup. As a 90% perfect individual, I must do my part for the economy. Anyway I do not believe the economy is getting better, so according to Keyes, I must help to stimulate the economy by spending so that it will cause a multiplier effect. In order to play a part, I have decided to step into S'pore Pools. Motivated by the prospect of earning more money and to stimulate the economy, I started betting. As of now, my losing rate has been 100%. I have really done a lot for the economy by losing. But I truly wanted to win. As such, my forecasts have gone terribly wrong. Due to this, my perfection factor is further reduced by 10%.

3. The Ronaldo

I seriously thought Ronaldo and Rooney will make the perfect pair to help Manchester United rise to the top again. I mean Cristiano. I don't mean the goldfish. The fat one. No. I mean the Oscar winning actor in the World Cup. The person who got Rooney sent off regardless of what the referee might say. The guy who winked at the Portugese bench. Yes. That idiot.

You might wonder why this affects my perfection score. You see, in my Football Manager, it is already in year 2009. Ronaldo is still in my team. And one of my most important coveted players. I have failed to execute my virtual punishment to this guy due to my laziness to open the programme and fine him. So my perfection score has dropped by 10% due to my very lazy behaviour.

4. LOST

By this, I mean something more dramatic than the drama LOST. Much much more dramatic. Like, getting lost in East Coast Park while looking for a particular fast food restaurant. Another 15% off here.

5. Blogging instead of typing report

I have an attachment report to do. And yet, I am blogging right now. This again exemplifies my slacking and lazy attitude. Afterwards, I think I will play games again. And I will wake up at 11am again tomorrow. And then I will have a nap again. And then I will be out again. And then I will play games again blah blah. Busy or procrastination? I have decided it is the latter. So I have to subtract another 10% from myself again.

6. Calculation

As of a few seconds ago, I was wondering what my score is. I wanted to calculate but found that I am either too lazy to do so, or just lacked the ability to perform calculations without a calculator. So, I decided that I am now only a 20% perfect man.

Now I have to make myself happy with myself. After I have self declared myself only 20% perfect. Here's why I should be happy with myself:

1. Mean of population

After performing some statistical analysis (which equates to thinking only), from a sample mean of about 20 (mostly VS guys that I know), I found that I am in the top 5% of the population. This result can of cause by ascribed to my handsome face, my intellectual brain and my good natured personality.

2. Happening factor

Basically, this happening does not amount to the one that is popularised by the fanatics who love clubbing and view those who don't as hermits living in their own shells. I have better things to do than that thank you very much.

By happening, I mean creating something unexpected which inevitably reduces my perfection score. Things that add spice into my own life. Like getting lost in ECP. And laughing at myself for that.

3. Blogging language

Well, I have changed my blogging style yet again if you noticed. You might want to take note that my blogging vocabulary and punctuation have improved by leaps and bounds. This is to be in line with my new image as a tuition teacher. I must set a good example for my student. And future student(s).

So although I find myself somewhat imperfect, I am still 20% perfect. And I am happy with that.  ¶ 10:34 PM 0 comments